Bon Voyage!

No it's not me.  I don't have any time off until August.....
The Bon Voyage goes to my Boss, or should I say ex-boss.  He is off to a new role after he comes back from his vacation and wedding.  Believe it or not, I do wish him well.  He was a pretty good boss/supervisor until about 6 months ago....then he got strict and picky.  Oh well, here's hoping our new Boss will be great.

I am still going to Curves.  I was a little bummed out after my last weigh-in on the 19th.  I hadn't lost any pounds but I did lose some inches and 0.5% body fat.  So it is still positive.  Anywho I went in today, and thought I would weigh myself before my workout and I am down 2.5lbs!!  Yippie!  I am hoping this keeps up for the next few weeks so that my next weigh-in is a success too :)

For Father's Day I made breakfast in bed for my hubby and then he convinced me to get some shorts for myself.  So we went to Pennington's (which I have been avoiding as it was just another thing that made me feel like I would never get the weight off....silly I know....but that is just how I felt) I picked up 2 pairs of Capri pants (one cargo style, one denim) a pair of denim shorts and another pair of Jersey Capri pants for working out or relaxing in.

My son turned 6 yesterday.  On the 19th we had his birthday party at the local cinema.  We and 13 kids (which included my 2 and my nephew) watched Toy Story 3 in 3D.  Great movie.  I almost cried at the end!!  I won't say anything else as I don't want to spoil it for you, but I will say that it was a great movie!  The kids were all so well behaved.  They all sat in a row and watched the whole movie (almost 2hrs long) and I only had to get up 3 times for bathroom breaks lol!

Today is the last day of school.  Both of my kids did well.  My daughter goes on to grade 4 with 7 A's and 7 B's and my son goes to grade 1 with an award for fairness.  The kindergarten classes don't get graded A, B or C.

I guess I should also update you on 'Guy'.  Well....he is doing so much better.  Unfortunately he came around too late so his assessment was a not meeting and he had to prepare an action plan.  But he certainly has stepped up to the plate and is preforming quite well.  He also requested me as a coach/mentor.  I was surprised and flattered.  We are going to work together to get him to take the last steps to be his full potential.   

I requested my contribution assessment be held early so that I could work against any opportunity areas before I present for my promotion.  It went extremely well!  I was so nervous that it would turn out bad, but it didn't.  My co-workers thought I was silly for being worried, but I couldn't help it :)

Well I think that is about all for now.  Life has been stressful, but I am working hard to stay as positive as I can. 

Here is a ripple I received in my email box on Monday that I think is suiting:

The thoughts we choose to think
are the tools we use to paint
the canvas of our lives.
-Louise Hay

Happy Long Weekend!

While May 24th is officially the day we celebrate the Birth of Queen Victoria, to many Canadians it is more a day to celebrate the coming of summer!  We Canadians call it the May two four weekend (2-4....like two four of beer???? 24 case of beer??? get it????)

Anyhow, this weekend looks like it is going to be a good one.

Last night after work I went out with the gang from work to have a few drinks and say 'It was great working with you' to a co-worker who's contract has finished.  Jay was transferred to our team only in January but I can't remember what it was like working without him.  He has become a good friend also!  I am not looking forward to my next shifts without him.

Today the kids are both in school and my hubby is working, so I took the morning to relax and recoup from being out so late last night.  Then I did a quick tidy of the house and mowed the lawn.  In another hour or so I will be heading off to the gym.  Then it is home for dinner and off to buy groceries.  Tomorrow will be a day of fun with some good friends of ours.  BBQ, pool, fire  etc nice relaxing day for us and great fun for the kids.

Work has been hectic to say the least.  My boss has been giving me mixed signals and making my work generally more difficult.  I confronted him on it, and while I didn't get the answer I wanted (not that I expected to) but I did do it and am proud of myself for being able to stand up and say You deflated me.  You made me feel that the special project I took on is a waste of time and also that my progressing (promotion) is also not important.  So while it was not something I wanted to do, and also very very difficult for me....I did it.  It is empowering to know that I can do it.

Well that is about all for now.  Life is good!

Another Journey

Life is truly about journeys.  If you have been reading this blog, you know about my toughest journey....but today I am writing about yet another part of that journey which is an entire journey of its own.....weight loss.

Before my nervous breakdown I had quite the nice shaped body.  I was a total of 140lbs (even after having 2 kids!), but unfortunately between the agoraphobia and the multiple medications (of the 9 I was on at one point, 4 had a side effect of weight gain)  I rapidly became at my highest 270lbs.  This only added to my depression and lack of self esteem as well as creating other health issues.

Just as with my depression/anxiety, I had to stop blaming and feeling sorry for myself and do something about it.  While I wanted the weight off and off now, I also didn't want to set myself up for a failure.  My first goal was to just get back to work and get to full time.  I had to focus on my mental health, while ensuring that I wasn't going to make work harder on my body or mind by starving it or over working it.  During the first 4 months back to work I lost 20lbs without changing my eating habits.

Ok so I am back to work and up to full time hours.  Now is the time to make some more changes.  My next task was to visit a nutritionist.  While I was eating fairly healthy, I was eating more than my body needed.  So the next step was to scale back my portions, and make some small changes.  Over the next 6 months I lost yet another 30lbs.  While not as fast as I would have liked, it was coming off in a healthy way.

Then came the plateau.......and this plateau lasted a few months.  I visited my nutritionist yet again and she suggested a few more changes, but I really was eating quite well, so she said the word that I knew was coming but was dreading.....EXERCISE!!!!

While I had gone to the YMCA while I was off work and preparing myself to go back to work, I had stopped with returning to work.  My personal trainer had me doing a half hour of cardio and a half hour of weight training 3 times a week.  I work 12 hour rotating shifts, so trying to get to the gym 3 times a week is practically impossible.  Plus on my days off I am so tired and also busy with household duties and errands that finding the time to spend an hour at the gym plus the travel time made it agonizing to go.  So I thought I would do the next best thing......exercise videos at home.  Yep, total failure.  It was too easy to say I would do it later, didn't feel like it or whatever excuse I could dream up.  Walking was great in the summer and fall but once winter came....forget it....I hibernate.

After awhile I had a really bad few days of feeling depressed.  I hated the way I looked, the way I felt, how I ached all the time and was winded just taking the 2 flights of stairs at work to get to my work area and also again each time I went to the cafeteria for break.   I felt horrible, money was tight, life in general seemed to suck the big one!  I decided that I was going to do something yet again instead of sitting around crying and risking a relapse.  What did I do?  I surfed the internet!  I was looking for a 'diet and exercise' plan either online or a download program that would allow me to schedule my exercise and plan my meals out in advance.  During the few days of surfing I found all sorts of free advice, programs and online forums, but none seemed right.

Then I came across the "Curves" website**.  They now offered a weight management class and best of all it was free to attend.  More than prepared that they would try to get me to buy all sorts of stuff I enrolled and went but left my purse at home.  I was extremely surprised.  The only thing they said I would have to buy is the weight management book that gives the info on the eating plan and more than enough recipes to feed yourself for the 30days the plan runs for.

Ok, I haven't started the eating plan.  I joined their gym instead.  BEFORE you call me crazy, hear me out.  I wasn't pressured to join the gym, in fact they said I didn't have to.  The gym didn't look like a normal gym so I asked about it.  Their workout is designed to give you not only your cardio workout, but also your weight training in 30 minutes.  Yep 30 minutes.  So I figured I would give that a try......I could fit in 30 mins a couple times a week for sure and the cost was right. 

I was given a 3 week free trail before signing up.  I was also weighed and measured for the weight management plan which they also do for gym members.  My first month I gained 2 pounds but lost half an inch in most places.  My second month I lost 5 pounds and lost 2 inches from my waist, abs and hips AND lost 1% body fat!!  I am very very excited.  I have made some small changes again to the way I eat, but am not following the eating plan yet.  I decided to focus solely on getting familiar with the workout and getting myself 'addicted' to going before I tackled changing my eating.  Again I did not want to take on too much and get frustrated.

So here I am....5 pounds lighter and 2 inches less round LOL.  I am going to make a few more changes to my eating to get that little bit closer to the eating plan before I jump in.  They warned that jumping right in could cause headaches and fatigue for the first week, so I thought if I made more changes before jumping it it wouldn't be as difficult to keep on going.  For 2 months now I have gone to the gym at least 2 times a week.  I plan to try and squeeze in another workout before work once a week, but that is going to be tough to do, so for now I am happy with 2 and editing eating habits.  The greatest thing about this achievement is that I haven't had to give up my true love...pizza!  LOL  I still order out pizza once or so a month, that is my treat after working my 3 night shifts in a row, and I had chocolate over the month because of Easter, but still lost 5 pounds.  While chocolate and pizza are not part of the eating plan and I might have lost more without them, it is nice to know that I won't have to worry about gaining every time I do treat myself so long as I am reasonable.

Well that is all for me tonight.  I am working tomorrow so it is early to bed to read and relax before sleep.


Cheers!



**I am in NO WAY being paid to endorse Curves.  I haven't even told them I am writing about them on my blog, or that I even have a blog.  I am only a woman who has found it is working for me.

Back to Work

Alarm goes off at 6:15am......I REALLY didn't want to get out of bed.  I dragged myself out of bed, got ready and left for work.  While the day itself was no more stressful that it had been of late...my poor feet and legs screamed at me after the first few hours and then continued the rest of the shift.  To make things worse once I got home and got into bed my legs burned so badly I could hardly stand it!!  That will teach me for taking a vacation LOL.

Outside of my body's rebellion, my mind was glad to be back at work, well at least a little.  I hit the floor to do my shift exchange (that is to talk to the people who ran the line the shift before to find out how things went, things to watch for etc) Anywho....Jason saw me and a great big smile burst out and he gave me a big hug and said "Thank God you're back!!".  and to top it off Joel (my supervisor) must have told me half a dozen times how glad he was I was back.   It is so nice to be missed :)   Things with "Guy" hadn't changed at all while I was gone and so patience is a little thin.  It has gotten to the point where my Line Supervisor no longer enjoys coming to work....which is a huge deal as he loves what we do.  (I do most days myself, especially since I had/have  a great crew to work with)  So we had 2 rough shifts, but made it through.  Last night for the last 2 hours of our shift was our team celebration so we all went out for dinner (company paid yippie) and had a great time.  After dinner a few of us decided to go for drinks.  It was nice and we mostly avoided talking about work.   I stayed out a little longer than I should have since I had to get up with the kids today, but it was worth it.  I'll take a nap a bit later today.


Today, I went to Curves and ran some errands.  I plan on doing some housework, but for the most part I think I will just relax today and worry about the cleaning tomorrow.  I will admit that I was in quite the foul mood this morning and my instinct was to go crazy cleaning the house and put myself in an even worse mood.  But I didn't.....I went to the gym instead and now I feel much better.  While the state of the house still makes me angry, I am choosing to ignore it for now...it will still be there later for me.