The Battle Continues

Everyday is a challenge and a choice.  Sometimes the choice is easy.....happy, other times it is so hard to choose happy and sadness overrules.  I have come against a few difficult challenges of late.  I must admit that I chose sadness and hurt, at least at first.  Both of my challenges happened at work.

My first challenge was with a woman that I work with on my line.  While I really didn't have a huge issue with her, it turned out that she had a HUGE one with me.  When things finally came to a head, we talked the situation out.  I had taken it very personally, and it took me some time to re-enforce that the problem was hers and not mine.  She was taking very thing I said or did as being vicious and out to get her.  She felt that I was bossy and overbearing, abrasive and in competition with her.  As personal follow-up from that talk, I spoke with everyone on the team and asked them if they felt the same way.  No one agreed, whether they did or not, they would not admit it to my face, so I took it that they didn't feel that way.  :)  With that in my pocket I began to internalize the hurt, and I was able to convince myself again that I was not the issue.  Even though I wasn't intentionally trying to do those things, she convinced me that I was that type of person.  I KNOW I am not that type of person, and I should have never let her hurt me the way she did, but I did.  Things between us are good now, we seem to have come to an agreement.  I have learned another valuable lesson and can choose to be happy again.  :)

The second challenge is also at work.  The line beside mine has 4 co-workers who run the line.  There are 3 women and a man.  There has been a lot of upset and anger between the women and man.  Basically the man feels he is doing all the work, the women are doing to much visiting, long breaks and leave the physical work to him.  One of the women is the 'line shift leader' or basically the supervisor for that line.  She is very upset about the allegations and is out to prove it wrong.  The battle between the 2 sides has turned into a 'pissing contest' for lack of a better term.  They have become petty and childish.  How does this affect me???  Well apparently the man has told the women that people from the other 2 lines in the department agree with him and feel they are lazy etc.  That is where I come in....yippie.   At first it wasn't a huge deal.  I was approached by this woman to attend a meeting to bring this situation to the open and deal with it.  Sure no problem.  I told her that I didn't care what they did on their line, that has nothing to do with me, they can take 2 hour breaks for all I care.  I haven't had to go over and help on the line without them being there so I have nothing to be concerned about.   Well I guess that didn't satisfy her.  4 more times she pulled me aside and gave me the same 'riot act'.  Each time she said she would be talking to the other 2 people she suspects is spreading these rumours/ agreeing with the man.  She never did speak to the other 2.  The last time she approached me, she claimed that my boss was getting feedback from other departments that I was involved and that I could 'get into trouble' (ie formal discipline) if I didn't stop.  I told her AGAIN that it wasn't me, I didn't care what they did, couldn't say that they did anymore or less than anyone else because I was busy running my own line and dealing with my own B*ll Sh!t on my line!  I was feeling targeted, harassed and  that this situation has gone way to far.  I decided to approach my boss and ask him if what she said was true and let him know how I felt.  He told me that I haven't done anything wrong, even if I was doing the gossiping I still couldn't get into trouble.  He agreed that I should confront her and let her know she is going to far and is harassing me and making me feel targeted.  He said that if that did not stop her he would.  So now I am still feeling targeted and harassed, but I know that I am not going to get into any trouble telling her to back off!  So I am just waiting for my next shift Monday night to see if she comes at me again!


Otherwise life is good!  Work is good outside of the political, high school stuff.  My kids are amazing as always.  My daughter has started Grade 4 and my son.....my baby....started Grade 1!!!  No more babies in this house.......  Along with the babies growing up so has the cheap Christmas presents.  My daughter is DYING for an iPod Touch.  It is a hard lesson for her, but one that I feel is important.  I do plan on getting her one for Christmas (sadly most of her friends are very well off and get these expensive things handed over to them.  An iPod Touch and a laptop for a birthday or end of school present are not unheard of...) Anyhow I remind her not to get her heart set on getting one (too late) because they are extremely expensive.  She has been saving to buy one, she has saved 70$ so far, but at this rate it will take her another 2 years to save.  I am proud of her for saving.  I also let her know that if she did get the iPod that she would most likely not get anything else for Christmas.  She seems ok with that, disappointed, but she wants this iPod so badly.  So after discussing with my hubby we hope to get the iPod as a gift from us and Santa will bring things she needs but aren't life mandatory, such as paint for her room, a new duvet & cover, sheets etc.  Then there is my son.  Who wants the XBox 360!  So we are hoping to be able to pull off the same deal for him.  We give the XBox and Santa brings room stuff........we are most likely insane, but since we can't keep up with the Jones the least we can do is try to give them the 1 thing they want the most.  The other items they both have on their Christmas list are a laptop, camera, blah blah blah!!

So that is my life for the last few months.  Everyday is a challenge and everyday is a choice.  Sometimes I choose right other days not.  But I am still the one who makes the choice and I don't choose sad everyday.

cheers!

Happy Long Weekend!

While May 24th is officially the day we celebrate the Birth of Queen Victoria, to many Canadians it is more a day to celebrate the coming of summer!  We Canadians call it the May two four weekend (2-4....like two four of beer???? 24 case of beer??? get it????)

Anyhow, this weekend looks like it is going to be a good one.

Last night after work I went out with the gang from work to have a few drinks and say 'It was great working with you' to a co-worker who's contract has finished.  Jay was transferred to our team only in January but I can't remember what it was like working without him.  He has become a good friend also!  I am not looking forward to my next shifts without him.

Today the kids are both in school and my hubby is working, so I took the morning to relax and recoup from being out so late last night.  Then I did a quick tidy of the house and mowed the lawn.  In another hour or so I will be heading off to the gym.  Then it is home for dinner and off to buy groceries.  Tomorrow will be a day of fun with some good friends of ours.  BBQ, pool, fire  etc nice relaxing day for us and great fun for the kids.

Work has been hectic to say the least.  My boss has been giving me mixed signals and making my work generally more difficult.  I confronted him on it, and while I didn't get the answer I wanted (not that I expected to) but I did do it and am proud of myself for being able to stand up and say You deflated me.  You made me feel that the special project I took on is a waste of time and also that my progressing (promotion) is also not important.  So while it was not something I wanted to do, and also very very difficult for me....I did it.  It is empowering to know that I can do it.

Well that is about all for now.  Life is good!

Confrontation

A big part of my recovery since returning to work has been to start standing up for myself and not letting others railroad me.  That was certainly put to the test this weekend.  Let me tell you I HATE confrontation.  I typically let others do and say what they will and let it bring me down.  Not anymore.  There is a woman at work who has been giving me a hard time since I joined the team 8 months ago.  She is the type that likes to take credit for everyone else's work, and will shove you down to make herself look better every chance she gets.

I took her abuse for the first few months until she made me cry and almost quit.  That is how much I hate confronting.  Thankfully my immediate supervisor who is also a great friend and co-worker talked to me that day and convinced me not to let her win.  Since that day I haven't confronted per say but I haven't jumped when she said jump etc. 

Now 6 months later she pulled something that infuriated me so much that I was severely shaking with anger.  At the end of our last night shift (which would have been last Wednesday morning) there was an issue on her line with the casepacker she runs.  I had just done some training on the casepacker on my line and my coach called me over to show me what was happening with that one and  allow me to see what causes it.  While the equipment was down, I put my locks on and took a look, without touching anything, and then got out and took my locks off so this 'woman' could get in and fix her mess. What I didn't find out about until Saturday morning is that she proceeded to tell the line leader and anyone else that would listen was that she had the equipment working wonderfully but then I went in and made some changes and then it didn't work anymore!

After I discovered this from a few extremely trusting sources I was furious!  It isn't like she was making fun of my clothes, she was telling some very important people that I was a screw-up.  I have worked very hard to prove myself and learn as much as I can to move up at work and here she was blaming her mess on me.  I decided I was going to confront her on it, but I was going to wait until I calmed down since I didn't want to get myself fired.  Before I confronted her she came over while I was loading material on my casepacker and told me she was having an issue with her casepacker gluing.  I simply said OK.  She then said "I was thinking the nozzles are plugged" to which I said OK.  She continued to prompt me for answers without asking for help so I only said OK and then at the end of her futile prompting....That's nice. and walked away.  I couldn't believe that she would have the gall to 'ask for help, without asking' when she had just finished telling everyone that I had created that mess just the shift before and she had to fix it.  Funny how she was able to fix that problem last time but not this time.....lol  I realize that was probably a petty and childish thing to do, but I was still furious with her.

Later almost the end of the shift, I sucked it up and went over and confronted her.  She denied everything of course, while I wasn't surprised, I was disappointed.  I own up to my mistakes.....why couldn't she???  Anyhow since she continued insisting that she would NEVER EVER do that to anyone blah blah blah.  I told her that I believe everyone deserves a chance to give their side and defend themselves.   I would let it go this time, BUT if this situation came up again I would get our Boss involved.  I am not about to let someone tank my career.

I must admit that afterward I felt good.  I felt as though the world had been lifted from my shoulders and I became happy and was able to have a great time the rest of my shift.  I am hoping she has realized that I am not going to let her get away with treating me badly anymore.  I doubt it, but it is always worth hoping :)  At least I know that I can stand-up for myself.  I can do it professionally and diplomatically.

Well I think that is all for today.....the story doesn't end there of course, but I will tell the rest another day.

To Be Continued...