Everyday is a challenge and a choice. Sometimes the choice is easy.....happy, other times it is so hard to choose happy and sadness overrules. I have come against a few difficult challenges of late. I must admit that I chose sadness and hurt, at least at first. Both of my challenges happened at work.
My first challenge was with a woman that I work with on my line. While I really didn't have a huge issue with her, it turned out that she had a HUGE one with me. When things finally came to a head, we talked the situation out. I had taken it very personally, and it took me some time to re-enforce that the problem was hers and not mine. She was taking very thing I said or did as being vicious and out to get her. She felt that I was bossy and overbearing, abrasive and in competition with her. As personal follow-up from that talk, I spoke with everyone on the team and asked them if they felt the same way. No one agreed, whether they did or not, they would not admit it to my face, so I took it that they didn't feel that way. :) With that in my pocket I began to internalize the hurt, and I was able to convince myself again that I was not the issue. Even though I wasn't intentionally trying to do those things, she convinced me that I was that type of person. I KNOW I am not that type of person, and I should have never let her hurt me the way she did, but I did. Things between us are good now, we seem to have come to an agreement. I have learned another valuable lesson and can choose to be happy again. :)
The second challenge is also at work. The line beside mine has 4 co-workers who run the line. There are 3 women and a man. There has been a lot of upset and anger between the women and man. Basically the man feels he is doing all the work, the women are doing to much visiting, long breaks and leave the physical work to him. One of the women is the 'line shift leader' or basically the supervisor for that line. She is very upset about the allegations and is out to prove it wrong. The battle between the 2 sides has turned into a 'pissing contest' for lack of a better term. They have become petty and childish. How does this affect me??? Well apparently the man has told the women that people from the other 2 lines in the department agree with him and feel they are lazy etc. That is where I come in....yippie. At first it wasn't a huge deal. I was approached by this woman to attend a meeting to bring this situation to the open and deal with it. Sure no problem. I told her that I didn't care what they did on their line, that has nothing to do with me, they can take 2 hour breaks for all I care. I haven't had to go over and help on the line without them being there so I have nothing to be concerned about. Well I guess that didn't satisfy her. 4 more times she pulled me aside and gave me the same 'riot act'. Each time she said she would be talking to the other 2 people she suspects is spreading these rumours/ agreeing with the man. She never did speak to the other 2. The last time she approached me, she claimed that my boss was getting feedback from other departments that I was involved and that I could 'get into trouble' (ie formal discipline) if I didn't stop. I told her AGAIN that it wasn't me, I didn't care what they did, couldn't say that they did anymore or less than anyone else because I was busy running my own line and dealing with my own B*ll Sh!t on my line! I was feeling targeted, harassed and that this situation has gone way to far. I decided to approach my boss and ask him if what she said was true and let him know how I felt. He told me that I haven't done anything wrong, even if I was doing the gossiping I still couldn't get into trouble. He agreed that I should confront her and let her know she is going to far and is harassing me and making me feel targeted. He said that if that did not stop her he would. So now I am still feeling targeted and harassed, but I know that I am not going to get into any trouble telling her to back off! So I am just waiting for my next shift Monday night to see if she comes at me again!
Otherwise life is good! Work is good outside of the political, high school stuff. My kids are amazing as always. My daughter has started Grade 4 and my son.....my baby....started Grade 1!!! No more babies in this house....... Along with the babies growing up so has the cheap Christmas presents. My daughter is DYING for an iPod Touch. It is a hard lesson for her, but one that I feel is important. I do plan on getting her one for Christmas (sadly most of her friends are very well off and get these expensive things handed over to them. An iPod Touch and a laptop for a birthday or end of school present are not unheard of...) Anyhow I remind her not to get her heart set on getting one (too late) because they are extremely expensive. She has been saving to buy one, she has saved 70$ so far, but at this rate it will take her another 2 years to save. I am proud of her for saving. I also let her know that if she did get the iPod that she would most likely not get anything else for Christmas. She seems ok with that, disappointed, but she wants this iPod so badly. So after discussing with my hubby we hope to get the iPod as a gift from us and Santa will bring things she needs but aren't life mandatory, such as paint for her room, a new duvet & cover, sheets etc. Then there is my son. Who wants the XBox 360! So we are hoping to be able to pull off the same deal for him. We give the XBox and Santa brings room stuff........we are most likely insane, but since we can't keep up with the Jones the least we can do is try to give them the 1 thing they want the most. The other items they both have on their Christmas list are a laptop, camera, blah blah blah!!
So that is my life for the last few months. Everyday is a challenge and everyday is a choice. Sometimes I choose right other days not. But I am still the one who makes the choice and I don't choose sad everyday.
cheers!
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