Just Get Over It ~ Update

A Journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step = Lao-Tzu

Here are the links to the article(s) again. 
Part 1: http://www.recorder.ca/ArticleDisplay.aspx?e=2793226
Part 2: http://www.recorder.ca/ArticleDisplay.aspx?e=2794895
I learned the other day that a condensed version of the article was on the front page of the Recorder and Times Extra - The free once a week paper they publish.
The Free Recorder and Times Extra: http://www.recorder.ca/ArticleDisplay.aspx?archive=true&e=1716970

I am still overwhelmed by the response that I am still receiving regarding my speech!  I came home from work on Sunday night to the phone ringing.  When I answered I was shocked that it was someone who had read the article in the paper and was so touched by it that he had to call.  He was an older gentleman and his wife has battled with schizophrenia for more than 40 years.  He was happy to see a 'happy story'.  Then again today while I was at the gym I was thanked by a woman for speaking out and that the story was very well written.  I am still stopped at work a few times a day but someone congratulating me on speaking out.

I must admit it is quite exciting :)  I also am shocked at how many people not only read the article but also have been affected by it.  Especially those who don't know me and take the time to write, call or find me on facebook, as well as those who have stopped me in person while shopping etc.  It is touching and is also saddening and comforting all at the same time.  I am touched that people are receiving it so well, I am saddened that so many people 'get it' and am also comforted that I am not alone, and am getting so much positive feedback from this experience.  I was fearful of how people would react towards me afterward.  So far only the positive has reached me, and for that I am thankful.

In other news... lol, life at work is as dramatic as ever but home is wonderful.  My kids are doing well, growing like weeds!!!  With Halloween just around the corner they are getting excited about Trick or Treating :)  Myself I can't help but get excited about Christmas!!  I love Christmas and I think this year is going to be extra special.


I hope your life is going well.  If it isn't and you are getting to the end of your rope......just tie a knot and hang on!!!  Life is worth living :)

Another day of surprises

Mediocre people do exceptional things all the time... - OK Go

Today is another good day.  It started out with a sick little boy, whom I suspect has just missed being home with Mommy, and has become a pretty great day!  

Once my husband came home from doing his bus run he asked if we wanted to go out for Breakfast and then get the groceries.  My son who has a stomach that can never be filled, jumped at the opportunity to go to his favorite breakfast spot.  It is right beside the train station and it was always our favorite spot to take the kids when we first moved here as the idea of missing a train going by would keep them relatively well behaved lol.  Anyhow turned out that they were very happy to see us.  Our favorite waitress immediately came over and said she had seen us in the paper.  She also told me she was so thankful for me sharing my story.  She had no idea that I had been going through such a rough time over these past few years she has known me.  She also went on to tell me how her daughter is going through very much the same thing I have.  She asked me if I would be willing to talk with her daughter.  I told her I would be more than happy to, that if I could help her I would, but I am not a Doctor and definitely not magical just someone who "Gets It".

I was also asked yet again if I would be willing to start a support group.  I am so surprised every time I get asked this!  But at the same time I do understand as when I was on my journey there were all sorts of support groups for the families and for addiction sufferers, but nothing for those suffering of depression or anxiety.   I am considering talking to my Social worker  at our next visit and see if there is anyway of getting some support from the Hospital or the Addiction Resource Centre to get something started.  I would love to get involved and help something get off the ground etc, but at this time I still work 12hr shifts and full time plus I have my own recovery to be aware of so I don't want to risk spreading myself too thin, so would rather not tackle something this big completely alone.

Well, I think I will go and unload and reload my dishwasher.  Now that we have our 'Smart Meters' for hydro my husband doesn't want me running the dishwasher during the day.....I have to wait until bedtime to start it or get up extremely early to get it started....and same goes for laundry!  If they keep raising the cost we will be sleeping all day and living at night lol!!

Anyways, hope you are having a great day!!

No words can express........

It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes.  ~Sally Field

I am so completely overwhelmed by the response from my speech!  I knew that it was important and that it would help others in a way that I wasn't helped, but I had no idea that I would touch another person's life in such a personal way.....

Yesterday I went to visit my in-laws with my husband and kids for Thanksgiving Dinner.  (We live in Canada eh? lol)  We had a lovely visit and an amazing dinner (Thanks Mom!)  As a tradition we go around the table and each say what we are most thankful for this past year.  With all of the recent discussion around my speech, illness etc I said again that I am most thankful for my family and friends and the amazing support they gave me during one of the hardest times of my life.  Especially to my wonderful husband who chose to stay by my side and sacrificed so much to help me recover. 

We came home late last night so I didn't check my mail box for any newspapers or flyers, but this morning when my husband woke up he went to get them.  Much to my surprise the Saturday Recorder and Times was waiting for us with a note from our delivery woman "Great article guys!!"  I knew to expect an article in the paper, but I had no idea it would be this soon...  AND I definitely had no idea that it would be on THE FRONT PAGE!!!!  I opened the paper so that I could turn through the pages and there just below the leading story was mine....the Saturday profile 'Mental Illness can strike anyone'.  My husband had to read the article to me, I was still in shock.  At the end of the article were the words ( "Road to Recovery" continues on Tuesday, Oct. 12.)  WHAT??!!  Another part to the article??  OMGoodness!  I could not believe it.  I expected a short column story somewhere in the back pages of the paper, but the Front Page?????? much less another part???


My shock does not end here....oh no....not at all.....  :)
I spent the rest of the day simply relaxing with my family.  I did call my parents to let them know I had indeed made the paper (and to stroke my ego just a little, I informed them it was the front page and another part to come!)  But there was nothing to prepare me for the surprise I just received.  As I came down to get ready for bed, read a little before going to sleep.  My husband asked me if I checked my e-mail.  Which of course I hadn't.  I had a friend request on facebook from someone......without revealing his name this was the content of the message:  "Hello April. I read the article in the Recorder and Times. You are a very courageous lady. It took about 30 minutes for my eyes to dry. As a depression survivor I thank you for sharing. Hugs"

Someone not only felt that what I had to say meant something to them, but it meant enough for them to look for me on Facebook??? 

Needless to say I accepted his friend request.  I must say I am excited, shocked and honoured all at the same time along with a billion other emotions!  What I did has become so much more than I ever expected.....



For tonight, I am going to try to sleep.  Tomorrow I will try to sort out all these emotions!!


Happy Thanksgiving to all those here in Canada, and for those who are not celebrating Thanksgiving, I wish you love, happiness, hope and many things to be thankful for...


Good night

'Just Get Over It' ~ A woman's personal experience with Mental Illness

Its not about waiting for the storm to pass but learning to dance in the rain

Last night I gave my speech 'Just Get Over It'.  It was a success.  There were more people than I expected.  After my speech was done, we had a Question & Answer session.  There were a lot of great questions and dialogue.  I was approached by a few afterward and I really felt that I made a connection and helped them to feel less alone.  I was so touched to hear that they knew how I felt and that I gave them hope for their own recovery.  I really don't know what words best express how the experience made me feel.  I know I am glad that I did it.....

Yesterday I went to work for a few hours as I had training I wanted to have.  I learned that my speech was announced on the local radio station and that people who knew me had heard it!!  While I was learning this information from one of my co-workers, a co-worker from the HR department overheard our conversation and asked what we were talking about.  I explained that I was giving a speech at the local library that night about my Journey with Mental Illness as well as my return to work.  He congratulated me on my courage and asked if he could post the information on the Employee Info board.....I agreed and told him I would send a copy of the flyer via e-mail once I got home.  Today I received an e-mail from both HR AND the Plant Manager!!  I was shocked!!

Here are the e-mails (I had to edit some to protect the identity of the people and the company)

From HR

As promised I posted your speech time and location on the employee information board. (attached) I am extremely happy to hear you felt supported by 'The Company' during your illness.  Please continue to be a  positive role model when it comes to educating people here at the site around STD(Short Term Disability).  Too often STD is seen as a negative, in most cases just like yours there is a legitimate reason for the persons absence.  And after getting the assistance you needed look what you are achieving and even taking it the next level by helping others understand both inside and outside 'The Company' .

Thanks so much

From The Plant Manager

We have not yet met, but I applaud your courage to share your story with the intent to help others.  It is always most valuable when people are willing to speak from experience about their own personal journeys.  Thank you for your leadership!

Thanks,

I must say that I am not only surprised, but am also touched that these people recognize the courage I needed to find in order to do something so personal and public.  To share my experiences was to share a time when I was most vulnerable.  Also with the stigma and stereotype around Mental Illness, it was very difficult to express what I went through.  

I will post the content of my speech another day.  I will also post the newspaper article/interview once it is published.

For tonight I am going to relax and be proud of accomplishing something I never dreamed I could do!

Dream big, as no dream is truly impossible

Mental Illness Awareness Week - October 3-9th.

There are 2 ways of spreading Light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it - Edith Wharton

Mental Illness Awareness week here is October 3rd to the 9th.  I was asked by my social worker to speak about my journey.  I agreed since I think it is very important to bring awareness and understanding.  Anyhow, I am going to be speaking October 6th. I am nervous as this will be the first time I have spoke publicly to 100s of people at a time about my journey.   I have prepared my speech and I will post it here after the 6th along with news on how it went.

I came home from work Wednesday night to some sad news.  A dear friend of mine who has made a similar journey as I have is walking that journey yet again.  My heart cries for him.  It is always a fear that I could become ill again, and to hear that my friend has breaks my heart.  He has a lot of support from his family and the medical field.  I wish I could be there with him to support him also, but he is on the other side of the world so I must send my love and support to him through the internet.  I met him shortly after I was diagnosed and he was there to share his experience and help me through my journey.  I only hope I can help him as much as he helped me........

He sent me a poem that he wrote about his feelings and the darkness.  I am going to share it with you now.

The Voice

the voice
sometimes it takes over my body and soul
it attacks with fury and rage and all
the voice i hear is malignant and vile
it attacks with vigour and anger but no style
it attacks me all day without thought or remorse
its insults hurt like a kick from a horse
this voice i hear ive heard it for years
it shouts out constantly pounding in my ears
come sun come storm and followed by rain
its always there to dish out its pain
as night draws in and i long for my bed
the voice i have heard subsides in my head
always alive its never dead
creature or devil or human kind
this thing took up residence in my mind.
we live together in torment and in hell
it lingers about like the foulest of smells
i pray one day that this voice it hides
and leaves the place of which it resides.